After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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