biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Are we still banned from the library?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
