This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
