How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
