You're so nebulous sometimes
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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