It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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