OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
