Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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