you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
