Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
operation harelip BJ is a go
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
