I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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