butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
