I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
