do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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