i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
