I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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