is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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