Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
