I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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