I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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