bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
