Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
