As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You work out of a Hotel?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
