shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
