How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
