porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
