Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
