Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
