Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
