I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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