I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
