My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
