i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
