So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
