you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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