Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
