There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
