At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
