you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm always down for nudity.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
