Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
