She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
