I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
BRING THE BAGELS
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
