video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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