I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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