ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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