I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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