no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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