I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
