At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Drunk is not a location!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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