It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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