So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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