we have pet lesbian snakes
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up under a house in Key West
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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