fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
